Mid Night Scribbles

Still I smile. 

It’s 3 in the morning and I am wishing for my pets to be here by my side. I prefer to use the word kids or siblings instead of pets. Why? Because they are family. They saved me so many times. When I was alone in my bed crying because of the occur rings of the day, they were the one who I turned to for a shoulder to cry on. Telling them my feelings, pouring my heart and eyes out. They didn’t understand what I said, they just let me hug them and that was all what I needed. Letting me cuddle with them and play or pose for funny selfies. I am the only child, so they are the ones who played the role of a brother and a sister. Today, right now, I am having those meltdowns and want to cry my eyes out and I am my missing my kids. 

I believe that I am a brave soul. I have endured pain multiple times and I am still here, happy and more strong than ever. It’s stupid for me to think about this ‘negative’ but sometimes I wonder as to how am I still so cheerful despite of such horrific encounters. But then I stop. This is my USP, I am strong.

I have seen my family falling apart, financial crisis, illness and death of my grandfather and grandmother, been bullied for my weight and probably ended in anxiety because of all of this. But still I am here, standing tall and strong. Still happy as ever. Still behaving like a foolish kid who troubles everyone (in a fun way of course), eating tons of chocolates and laughing like a mad baboon, every chance I get. 

The bad encounters are just chapters or lessons or phrase or whatever the fucking term you want to give it. It is not permanent and you too, should not make the bad chapter turn into an entire book. 

What I am trying to say is that, Ok fine, you are dealing with something terrible, horrific right now but surely you must be having a small happy place, moment, person, thing to cherish. Why to focus only on the bad? 

Had I focused only on the negative in my life, I would have preferred to die a long time back. 

Today, 8 in the night I was walking from my house to my friend’s place. Now, Mumbai is the safest city and in my 2 years of stay here, I have never encountered any thing as such which made me feel unsafe. 

But today, when I was walking, listening to music, I saw a man aggressively walking towards me and without giving me any chance to react, he kicked me right in the chest with full force. I fell down and I was grasping for breath, but he didn’t stop there. He pulled my hair and wanted to hit me more. Thankfully there were people around who immediately came running to the spot and seeing the them coming, that guy ran away. We were able to catch that person. He was mentally ill and lived on the street. All of this happened in Juhu. I am safe and fine now and that person is in the police station right now. He’ll be sent to a local mental hospital tomorrow.

When I was on the road gasping for air, for a minute I thought I was going to die. I was both lucky and unlucky. Unlucky ’cause I was the one who crossed that sick persons path. Lucky ’cause I had so many people there who came to my rescue and helped me. I don’t know the name of everyone who stopped by to offer a helping hand, but I want to thank all of you. ❤️

For one bad person who hurt me, there were ten good people who helped me. 

So, I don’t know. Life is kinda funny. Light humour, dark humour. Life, oh, life. 

I just want to advice all of you to never be so consumed in the bad that you completely forget the good. I might be having a meltdown right now and want to just hug my kids and cry but tomorrow I’ll be fine. A new day. I have millions of things to look forward to. I just can’t lie rolled up in my bed, soaked in sorrows. I’ll be wasting my precious time. So, please if you are struggling, remember it will go and even if it doesn’t, find your happy and cherish it.

I have wasted so many days and weeks, lying in bed thinking how miserable life is that now when I look back, all I have is regret. For one bad thing, I ignored living my life.


Current situation, I am a woman of steel. 

Life motto: You can be a downer for 5 minutes but then you gotta be a gansta. 
Take my advice. I am talking with experience. It is a beautiful life. Go and live it. Eat some chocolate ice cream and watch some cartoons. Work hard and fulfil your goals. Smile and love. 


The Gypsy Panda


One thought on “Still I smile. 

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