The light and dark inside me (ft. Chioma Accessories)

Inner battles. Let’s talk about that today.

I am lying on my bed at 4 in the evening, tapping on my keyboard, thinking what to say. Well, If I spilled exactly what I think, you’ll probably diagnose me as a mad woman. To correct you, the diagnoses IS of mental illness.

See, people suffering from anxiety or depression get very good at hiding it, if suffering from it alone. Let me break it to you in a fun way.

I wear a mask during the day, when I am out with people. I interact, crack jokes, I make people smile, it’s all good and jolly. No one can ever make out that a girl so smiley is the same girl who cries every day when all alone in a room.

Thanks to the series of mis-fortunate events, there is a part of me which will forever be tarnished (or that’s how I feel right now). The bad memories and incidences, whether it was family drama/boyfriend-girlfriend drama/being bullied/mean comments or whatever which just torn you apart. All that contributed to the plague in my mind.

I try hard, not to relapse in the dark phase but sometimes the tormeting thoughts are too over-powering. ‘You are worthless.’ ‘You can never be good enough.’ ‘Look at you and look at them.’ ‘Your life is just full of bad things and nothing can ever go right.’

And just like that, I get deep down that mud hole and sink.

The girl who carries immese desire in her heart to achive and become something, resumed to being a sloth.

The one who wants to work day and night to make her dreams come true, just wastes her day away in mindless sleeping.

The girl who wants to experience things, dress beautifully and meet new people,

Now just cancels all the plans, ignores calls and messages And dresses like a slob.

Now you see the power of a mind?

All the good is ignored because you feel too burderned by your own emotions.

You run away from your responisbilities (basically you want to run away from this life of yours’)

Days will go by and I won’t realise how much of life I am missing out on.

You get too comfortable with the dark side and get used to being lazy. My inner self would scream, begging to be heard, to be rescued from this trap. But then again, comfort food and sleep wins.

*Don’t ever let yourself get into this possition. Realise how you feel. Depression and anxiety are not what you create, it’s an illness and yes, a cure is there. Being someone who has suffered from it, I know what toll it takes on your mind and body. Seek help, if all you feel is unmotivated and bad about yourself. Below is the link to the newly started NGO by Deepika Padukone:

http://thelivelovelaughfoundation.org

Don’t be ashamed in discussing your issues. Remember that greater things are waiting for you in your life and it is an illness which is stopping you from living the life of dreams. So, go and get help. You are not alone and you are not mad.

About the outfits:

Look one:

Pullover: Zara | Skirt & Shoes: Forever21 | Bag: Chioma Accessories

{Started in Jan,2016 Chioma Accessories is one place heaven for all the bag lovers. From totes to slings, they have got it all covered. Great in quality, they have a variety styles, colours and designs: perfect for every occassion. It caters to your own personality and it just compliments your outfit, every time you wear it.

They are also coming out with a whole new range of passport covers and organizers which would help you sought your life more!}

Look Two:

if you liked this post, please do share it. Let this message be heard. There are souls fightening this deadly condition silentely and they should know that it is okay and they will be fine.

Also, if someone comes up to you with the following symtoms of ‘withdrawal’, don’t laugh it off, telling them that they are just lazy and ungrateful. Help them in the right way, else these toughts turn out to be even worse, leading to suicidal thoughts or suicides.

Let’s make this world a happy place and love with an open heart.

Yours,