Fashion · Mid Night Scribbles

Life after college- What I am doing?!

I am truly anxious and humiliated about this article. Presumably the hardest one, I have ever penned down.

In the period of July, I declared that I will do a post on “My plans after college”, it was particularly asked for by some of you and I thought, “Beyond any doubt, for what reason not. This will likewise influence me to think and appropriately design my subsequent stages.”

Truly, toward the beginning, I was so inspired to at last focus on my brand (Gypsy Panda), full-time.However, after my Graduation with Bachelors in Business Administration (specialization: Marketing),  at 21 years of age,I enjoyed a break for good two months, that implies back to my family, my hometown. It was not an exceptionally pleasant stay. The family holds energy of by one means or another influencing you to surmise that MBA nhi, toh kuch nhi. They didn’t comprehend my calling as a blogger. As they would like to think, it is all pointless fooling around as long as you are youthful and pretty. The fame soon blurs and moves to another, who is considerably more prettier, in this field and after that, “Beta, iss field mai dependability nhi hai.” Even my own dear companions didn’t purchase the idea of taking this as a full time career.

I was at that point exceptionally frightened about this new beginning and with for all intents and purposes, having nobody close really having faith in me, I began questioning myself.


By one means or another, despite everything I endeavored to forget about the instability and assembled the boldness to return back to Mumbai. Tragically, that day, I lost a family member. Everything terrible that at any point occurred in my life returned back in flashes, making the feelings much excessively overpowering. I for all intents and purposes remained in that condition of grief for about a month. Dozed my days off, grew inopportune dietary patterns and I was dependent on this solace perspective wherein I simply turn off everything and everyone. Overlooked work calls and mails.

What would you be able to anticipate from somebody who doesn’t have the vitality to state a serene “HI” , to do.

It took me a month to get over that distress and return back to reality. The individual that I progress toward becoming, was revolting. I hated when I looked myself in the mirror. Never left my home since I felt as though my depressed eyes could recount the account of my tragic life to individuals, in a flash.

There was no inspiration or enthusiasm left in me to be cheerful about existence. I let the harsh childhood simmer for a while so somewhere down in my mind, the pessimism from it, it simply influenced me to intense. Everything appeared against my support.

The strain to take this as a full-time profession incurred significant injury on me. I lost all sense of direction in the sketchy concerns others had about this field.

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At long last gave in, and accepted a position at GQ magazine India. I was so energized and anticipating every one of the things I will get the chance to learn there. Be that as it may, I quit soon after four days. The job expected me to work for 8 hours every day (+2 hour of traffic). That is still okay, yet being there, I needed to confer myself, organizing Gypsy Panda at a moment put. This is the thing that disturbed me. Unexpectedly, I got every one of the thoughts and inspiration to work on the blog. Absence does make the heart to grow fonder, maybe.

After that, I did work on projects which I am exceptionally glad of. Be that as it may, I was extremely inconsistent with the work. I think, I used to work twice as hard while in college than I at any point did taking this as full-time profession. The evil presence of questions pestered me constantly.

You should think, “Gracious hellfire brother, that is some Annabelle stuff therezz”


I could just persuade myself for two days from the week. The rests were again spent in a corner, casings myself from the world, in my own particular insecurities. I used to consume my anxiety and rest my days off.

Stuck in this hurricane of feelings that I couldn’t get away. I was furious at myself for giving me a chance to be so miserable at the same time, I yelled out that disappointment to anyone (close/obscure) who at any point crossed my way. Gradually, I felt significantly more separated than some time recently. Admitting this to myself that no one could get me. Surprisingly, nobody at any point did. Two individuals who I opened up to about my state, began pitting me and demonstrating this pointless concern which I never requested.

My entire being wanted was for somebody to embrace me, disclose to me this will be fine and you are awesome and you will accomplish all the more astonishing things and this stage will pass, let me guide you to the correct way.
Nobody did this.

Maybe, everybody ended up plainly terrified of the furious, aggravated individual I moved toward becoming and begun separating themselves. They excessively lost expectation in me, I presume.

Managing this murkiness, isolated, isn’t simple. At a certain point, I had considerations to end this all together. What was the point to experience this hopelessness called life, all things considered.


I am still here.

Today, offering to you what I was experiencing and fought out of.

1. Pardoning your past 
We’ve all been harmed by someone else, sooner or later — we were dealt with gravely, trust was broken, hearts were harmed or submitted botches that we are not pleased with.

And keeping in mind that this agony is ordinary, in some cases that torment waits for a really long time.
We remember the agony again and again, and experience serious difficulties giving up.

This causes issues. It makes us be despondent, as well as can strain or destroy connections, divert us from work and family and other essential things, make us hesitant to open up to new things and individuals. We get caught in a cycle of outrage and hurt, and pass up a major opportunity for the magnificence of life as it happens.
We have to figure out how to give up. We should have the capacity to pardon, so we can proceed onward and be glad.
This is something I took in the most difficult way possible — following quite a while of holding outrage for an extreme youth, I at long last let it go, and not just has it enhanced my association with other and myself, it has additionally helped me to be more joyful.

 Forgiveness can change your life.

Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behavior — you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

It’s not easy. But you can learn to do it.


2. Concentrate on the great things in life 
This may sound cliche , yet it is so imperative to make yourself mindful of the great things in life. Take out your pen and paper, make two records: A) Things that you are glad about.

Case: After pulling out of science and breaking my father’s fantasy to end up plainly as a doctor, I picked commerce. Be that as it may, I failed my first historically speaking accounts exam. Worked my ass off, and topped the class in the following semester. I am glad of how strong I am.

Concentrate on the great.

B) Things that you are thankful for.
Case: I am appreciative for the feast I had today. Thankful for my family. Appreciative for a utilitarian body. Thankful for the oranges that I purchased.
I am not saying to list down each and all that you have in life. Simply compose the things that make you upbeat, can be anything.
This will influence you to acknowledge how honored and truly blessed you are.

3. Have a discussion with yourself 
This is where I uncover my tentative arrangements.
It took me a year and a half, to get my brand where it is at this moment. What’s more, I did this while juggling n number of assignments, tests, presentations and college parties. At that point what turned out badly when I had all the season of the world to work with.

Fear of disappointment. Fear of accomplishing something superfluous. I despised Snapchat for some time. Clicking a photo of my burger and demonstrating it to the world, appeared to be inconsequential to me. I forgot about why I began doing this in any case.

In any case, I needed to help myself to remember my actual objectives and energy.
I locate my intimate romance in expressions. Craftsmanship can be in any shape; photos,articles, articles, cooking recordings, amusing recordings, movies,etc. Every last bit of it.

Everything I can state is that art influences us to feel. It mirrors our mankind back to us and we can see ourselves and what we are, fragile living creature and soul. Its what makes us human. Envision a world where no films are made. Out and out, pitiful.
Why is that you need to prevent your kid from developing in a field so indispensable in everybody’s life.

Mama and Pa, the “prettiness ” may blur however my capacity to make something which can engage or/and useful to others can never blur. Since my utmost energy lies there.
I recollect that little kid, who secured herself in the restroom far from family battles. Put in her earphones, impacting on Pretty Please by P!NK. Her melody (/art), influenced me to rest easy. It gave me the energy to open that entryway and advance out.

Individuals who are imaginative souls are honored to have online networking. There some kickass photographers, authors, artists out there.
Try not to give me the poo of “saturation point hit ho rha hai influencers ka”

The world creates huge amounts of graduates each year with a similar degree. Everybody approves of it yet in the event that a man tries out something else, he/she is condemned with questions.
I say, overlook that and You do, you boo!

Keep in mind you dream in your heart. Your fantasies are what can get you through even the most noticeably awful days. On the off-chance that you are battling, your fantasies are your motivation to continue onward. They are the reason you get up in the morning and attempt once more. They are what makes as long as you can remember worth living. Without our fantasies, we are nothing.
Thus, for a year, I will concentrate on my dream and taking a shot at enhancing my abilities (Going for Language and dance class, working in a NGO and going to workshops). Likewise, ideally in September 2018, I should keep on pursuing higher studies  in Luxury Fashion Management.

4) Learn to be Alone not Lonely 
When you are in college, you get the chance to see your companions regularly. I awfully missed this. Remaining alone in Mumbai with two occupied flat mates, I started to feel as though I have no companions. I was irate at how egotistical everybody is, occupied in their own particular lives when I am biting the dust for little empathy.

Young lady/kid, hold up and quit setting yourself. You can’t anticipate that somebody will be there for you every time. In a snapshot of lost expectation, you need to discover and lift yourself up, all alone.

Remember, if your friends/family are giving you a hard time, not understanding you, then let them be so. If you believe in tour heart that you are right, then for the time being, Be YOUR OWN HERO. Give others the time to adjust and understand. That means, do not isolate them from you.

Yesterday, I told myself to be calm and reminded of the good things in life. Not only did it bring me in a happier mood but my cool temperament, made me have an even better conversation with my friends and family.



5) If you are working from home; this is for you. 

I do not have a 9-5 job, I work from home.
Honestly, at the start it is overwhelming to be at home every day. The only time I got to get out was on shoot or event or meeting. But 80% of the time, was spent at home.
When people think about working from home, many imagine sleeping in late, lounging around in their pajamas and long leisurely lunches.But what people (ME) need to realize is that even though working from home offers a great amount of flexibility, it is still a professional job and it needs to be treated as such.
Need to learn best work at home practices, like setting office hours, having a dedicated office space, avoiding home-bound distractions, and actually dressing as if you were going to an office.



6) Sweat the stress, not eat it away. 

Vent it all out in an activity that gets your body moving. Do not make my mistake, of eating 400 calories at once. This will only make you more miserable.



7) The Millennium Point


They are just any other artist working their ass off behind the screen to give you the best visual content of your life. I personally have learnt so much from the photographers, bloggers and other creators in general. I mean they are using the platform correctly.

If you are inspired to create. Then do it. Make mistakes but do it.

Comparing your life to others social media in general is just a waste of your time. You cannot compare someones highlights in life to your lows.

Things that you see me posting: happy selfies, new shoot behind the scenes, food, a happy moment with friends, etc.

Things that you do not see me posting: The days that I didn’t have the strength to put on grown-up clothes. Or the days I spent crying and debating.

I mean, you get the point na?

8) Understand emotions

Being an emotional person and leading with the heart can both be great qualities. Leaning into our feelings allows us to be more self-aware and helps connect us to others. But if we allow our emotions to dictate how we live our lives, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and even have a negative impact on our health and relationships.
As an empathetic person who feels things deeply, I have learned this lesson the hard way.
It took me many years to grasp the concept that all emotions stem from thought. As a young woman with low self-esteem, I didn’t realize that my negative self-talk and sensitivity to others’ opinions were having a profound effect on my emotions and moods.
After years of faulty thinking about who I was and what I had to offer in life, I finally make to this realisation.

When you find yourself riding the wave of emotion, it’s important not to dismiss those feelings. Emotions can be a lot like unruly children in need of attention. Once we validate them, we allow them to be seen and have a voice.
Feeling our emotions is an important part of life; it’s what we do with them that can create problems.
For example, if I’m feeling bored, sad, or lonely, I tend to turn to food for comfort. This usually doesn’t end well. As I gain weight I then feel even worse because now my self-esteem suffers. Leaning into my emotions instead of numbing them with food has been a huge part of my process.

When we validate our emotions, we become more aware and accepting of them, and we begin to understand where they come from. It’s only in this place of awareness that we can see what power they may hold over.

Awareness is power; it gives us the control to choose how we respond.

Always remember that emotion is derived from thought. If we find ourselves experiencing strong emotions, it’s helpful to examine the thoughts that preceded them. Then ask the question, are these thoughts based on truth, or my perception of the truth?
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you are not your emotions—you have the ability to decide if they lead you or if you lead them.
As you build awareness and learn to recognize your triggers, you will become increasingly savvy about when your emotions are serving you well and when you may need to take charge of them.

Now, with a brand new shiny attitude, I think, I am finally ready for the next step in my life. Took me three months to come to this realization. However, bad might be my past state, I am not ashamed of it. I am glad that I am even more aware about myself now.

Never stop. This darkness is a just a season in you. Sharing a shoot I did with Ridge, exactly three months back. This is also my first shoot I did, when I returned back to Mumbai. I know how hard it was for me to stand and smile in front of a camera when inside I was dying but you know why I did it? Not for likes and fame, I did it because I wanted to create a story for you, my viewers. But mostly, for me.

You can tell that I am not in a slimmer shape here but when I look at it, I can’t stop feeling proud. I stood up for my passion when everything seemed against. I shall look at it, whenever I feel low, to remind myself of the zeal I have for my purpose in life; create & help.

This shoot, will be the most close to heart, always.

I will like to name it:

Please do let me know your thoughts on this one. Your opinions and views mean a lot to me. At the end of the day, I wanted to help someone, even if one person, like I was helped when I listened to Pretty Please by P!NK. Also, there is no need to be concerned about me. However, if you are battling somewhat similar fight then hit me up! Let’s fight together.

 Remember: To keep on moving and doing. At the start of my third year of college, I interned with a luxury brand. The job profile basically included sales, creating and managing their marketing.  Not only did I learn a lot about luxury field, I also paid my entire rent & expenses on my own. Best part, learnt and discovered my love for art in general. After this summer, I took my blog very seriously. Creating and creating. Even on my most tired days, I still somehow used to gather the courage to work.
And after, one and a half year of experience in running a business on my own. I can’t wait to take this brand, to the very next level.
After all, I don’t stay this strong to end up as a mediocre.
Be it a change in job, study or entire career. The change is okay. I have friends who took switched their course of study at almost on the verge of completing the previous course.
I can tell they are happier from the switch. They are now studying, their desired course of interest. I salute their courage, to do what they love.
I require the same motivation in you.

Always Love,



2 thoughts on “Life after college- What I am doing?!

  1. This is the perfect blend of writing I ever read in my life Which touched every single dot of our life starting from writing what made you write this article, then moving to your life after college, taking a little break and moving to hometown (the describing how family provides two way energies in contrast), the friends, the society’s thinking about this field, how we feel after all these negativies, we start questioning ourself at some point “Is it the field I should really choose?”, then if we are strong, the very next second we will say “I will do this for myself, to me answer myself that I didn’t let my dreams die just to meet societies expectations and old-fashioned forced views and opinions. Then came all the things you did initially, the work, the struggles, the initial imperfections, being lonely and nobody understanding us and if we happen to share our thoughts at that point nobody would understand that and inturn make us look miserable and pass their judgements which are uncalled for.

    And then the most vital things.

    Rising from the Ashes out of nowhere like a Phoenix.

    The points you made are just so everyone suffer and they have no answers for it. You gave answers to everyone questions especially Indian People’s in 8 points.

    1. Have a discussion with yourselves
    2. Learn to be alone not lonely

    These two points will make know yourselves well and know your talents, abilities, what you are as a person, what you want from life and what you can do to achieve that.

    The millenium Point about Social Media.

    Its the biggest Irony of this Social Media Obsesses Youth. They just see, get obsessed, try n imitate losing their originality and what worse is that they can’t even reach a little to the people they try to imitate.

    Understand Emotions – This point sets you just so apart from rest and goes a very long way to show how good you are as a person and so humble and grounded and still having humanly emotions even after achieving so much. Thats the biggest quality I searched in many but found in none and I found it today in AANCHAL TRIVEDI.



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