Mid Night Scribbles

Dealing with anxiety {My take}

There are two kinds of anxiety, first one is when you feel nervous before a big interview or exam or something which is of major importance to you. You can get sweaty, feel shaky and scared which is normal. This anxiety stays only in that moment.

The second kind of anxiety is a bit scary. You tend to feel fear, thing about irrelevant stuff, procrastinate a lot (because you are scared of the outcome of  a situation), a lot of time and at times when you there is no need for you to be nervous or scared..
Whenever something goes wrong in my life, I just over think about it to the point that everything seems messed up. A small thing would go wrong and my mind would just think about all the bad stuff which has ever happened to me in my entire life (bad flashbacks is also a common symptom for anxiety). My entire energy would get consumed in that moment and I would just like to lay down in my bed, not move, not do anything, not go out, basically I’ll just start to ignore life.

 

It is very possible that you can recovery from anxiety – now everyone should have some amount of anxiety, it is our survival instinct and ability to sense danger, however extreme anxiety should be dealt with. Research shows that a combination of 2 or 3 of the following – physical activity, therapy and medication – can greatly improve mental illness

 

See, it is all in your mind. Usually people who suffer from anxiety have more sensitive minds than others. How normally  brain reacts when seeing a danger: it tends to flight or fight. When you are suffering from anxiety, almost everything seems to you a case of ‘flight'(that you just run away from it, because you are scared or nervous).

I have a case of social anxiety too. I would be in a large group of people, everyone would be nice to me and are my friends, but something would just click and I would just rush away from there (which is at times mistaken for me being a rude ass). I wouldn’t answer calls, texts or go out because I fear that something would go wrong or that I will just panic.

Again, it’s all in your head. Try to control it.

Here is how I deal with anxiety:

1) When you start getting into that ‘over thinking loop’ just stop yourself. I know it might seem impossible but just tell your brain to stop and pop in some music and dance your heart out.

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I have tried this quite a lot of times and it actually works.

2) Eat right and exercise. However obvious this sounds to you but this is a very important step to beat anxiety out. When you live right, you tend to think right (good diet,good exercise = good hormones and good thoughts). Just bring in more fruits and veggies in and more of the junk food (like chips,coke) out. Fund yourself the exercise which makes you happy: dancing, any sport, yoga. Go for it for a solid 15-30 min every day. You’ll start noticing the change in you soon.

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3) Be present. Be where you are, not where your anxiety wants to take you.

Anxiety works by using a solid collection of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘maybes’ to haul even the strongest, bravest mind from a present that feels manageable and calm, to a future that feels uncertain and threatening. Experiment with staying fully present in the moment. Anchor yourself by opening up your senses. What do you see, feel, hear, taste, know? Stay with what is actually happening, rather than what might happen. If this feels uncomfortable, put a time limit on it, let’s say, two minutes to start with. Spend this time fully experiencing the world as it is around you now.

Every time you do this, you will be strengthening your ability to pull back from the anxious thoughts that steal you away from the safety and security of where you are. Try to get into a regular practice each day, for however long you can – two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes – it doesn’t matter. There’s no right amount, but the longer the better. The main thing is to keep doing it. The brain strengthens and rewires with experience, and this is an experience that is so strengthening and healthy, your brain will love for it.

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4) Never take help of intoxication (alcohol,cigarettes, drugs) to calm your anxiety. Trust me, it will only worsen it the next time.

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5) Write down your thoughts. I always do this and it somehow calms me down, to let go of what is happening up in my head. You get a better clarity at the things and also realize your irrational fears.

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6) Teach yourself that everything is fine and that to live your dream life, you need to get out of this shit hole in your head. That you need to get up, get dressed and work. When the anxiety strikes back again, give yourself five minutes to fight it back, telling yourself that everything is fine and even if it is not, that you’ll make it fine.

I couldn’t have done half of the things which I am doing right now if I didn’t fight this thing.

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Trust me, it’s all in the head and you meed to understand how to deal with it.

Now whenever I get anxiety, I try to remind myself of all the good things and the blessings which I have and try to stay positive. I take a solid an hour sometimes to bounce back, but I do bounce back.

7) Connect with the right people. Don’t be ashamed to share what you are going through with someone who understands. It actually helps. Just go out with them for a movie or just a stroll. I have done this several times and it is much better than being alone with your thoughts.

8) Social Anxiety can be something like this:

Before Social Situations:
I’ll make a fool of myself

I’ll have nothing to say

I’ll go bright red / I’ll stammer

During Social Situations:

Everyone’s staring at me

I’m useless / I’m trembling

After Social Situations:

Everyone thought I was an idiot

I’d be better off not even bothering

I sounded like an idiot

About Yourself:

I’m weird

I am stupid

No one likes me

I am not funny

This is how you deal with it:

  •  Spend less time focusing on your own physical symptoms in social situations.
  • Remember anxiety is much less visible than you imagine.
  • Even if you are visibly anxious, it does not necessarily mean that you will be thought badly of. Anxiety is something we all experience and it does not make you unusual.
  • Just because you feel anxious, it does not mean that you are performing poorly.
  • Remember – you are not the central focus of everyone’s attention. There are plenty of other things for people to think and talk about.
  • Really try to concentrate on the conversation you are involved in. Don’t think about how you appear or how well you are performing.
  • Don’t replay parts of the conversation in your mind, instead just focus on what is being said in the present moment.
  • We do not need to perform perfectly or brilliantly in every social interaction we have, no-one can achieve such high standards.
  • Don’t worry too much if there are silences. Everyone has a responsibility to keep conversations going. Besides, silences are OK and do not always need filled.
  • Just be yourself – don’t ‘put on a front.’ Why bother when it is impossible for everyone to like us anyway.
    To sum it up, just teach your brain to stop over analyzing stuff, think about the good in life, think about your goals and about your family and friends, and just live.

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It’s not healthy to stay in a dark room for a long time. Shutting yourself up, hating yourself.

 

Social Media Anxiety is a whole another topic. Here is a blog that I found the most helpful for this case: www.radicaltransformationproject.com/social-media-detox-depression-anxiety/

 

What to do if your loved one is suffering from anxiety: 

  • When your partner is having an anxiety attack, just be there for them. Hug them, love them, get them an ice cream if they want. You first have to calm them down in the right way.
  • Try to remind them of all the good stuff. Tell them why they are perfect just the way they are. Make them feel good about themselves.
  • Never tell them that they are mad or irrational ( taunting them). Remember, they too want to get out of this case desperately. Help them in the right way.
  • When you see that they are in their ‘dark phase’, help them get out of it by taking them out for their fave activity (or just watch a movie or go for a walk), anything which would clear their mind.
  • Most importantly, Be Patient. This will take time but trust me, they will fight their way back from this ‘mind shit hole.’

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Take it from me, a girl who never posted anything on social media because she thought ‘she ain’t good enough.’ The girl who over thought so much, that she is used to cry even in a crowded room, crying even when walking to college, basically crying al the time because of my tormenting thoughts.

I am the same girl who is now a ‘social butterfly’ and is on a quest to achieve her big dreams.

Like I said, I still have anxiety and probably will always do but, now I know how to deal with it. I don’t let it stay with me for days. I kick it and I go back to living lif

 

 

If you found this helpful, please do share. Spread this message as much as you can.

And if you have any more queries regarding anxiety, feel free to message me. I’ll be more than happy to help you out.

Love,

7 thoughts on “Dealing with anxiety {My take}

  1. I love this article SO MUCH! It is so accurate and encouraging. I too have both generalized anxiety and social anxiety – but maybe that’s why we both love blogging! Nice “meeting” you my friend!

    Like

  2. Thank you ……was at a really bad place before reading this……… Felt all the same things , followed some your advice ,feeling better now…….

    Like

  3. I have anxiety too… you are clearly a very talented writer because I have never read anything the captures anxiety so clearly. I have learned a few things from this. Thank you!

    Like

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